Change of Plans

This pregnancy has been really hard both physically and emotionally.  I'm not sure if its because she's a girl, I'm over forty, its my fourth, I'm chasing/homeschooling three active boys, or something else.  What I do know is that its taken its toll not only me but our family and our homeschooling journey as well.

I just came in from our backyard/courtyard where the boys and I had breakfast and read the Bible.  I came in because I realized I didn't have an ounce of energy to tackle the weeds and the boys wanted to play in the water and with the water hose.  I came in also with the realization that the "New Plan" Chris and I discussed last night for the remainder of the year was a must, not an option.

The "New Plan" has been partially motivated by some interesting articles I've read lately, and all seem to have a similar theme.  Here are the two that were the most impacting: A "Jump Start" to Joyful School Year and  You ARE the Best Mom for Your Kids. These articles also have links to a number of other articles that delve into why we homeschool.  The simple answer being to "train them up in the ways of the Lord" and to give them the best education and childhood possible.  Then last night I read this: Charlotte Mason Gave our Homeschool Wings. It wasn't that it was anything new, it was just a reinforcement of ideas I had been thinking about for a while.   I've read a number of books about the CM method and been intrigued.  I've tried some of it out; adding copywork, hanging up pieces of art for the boys to appreciate, listening to classical music, focusing on living books to read and avoiding twaddle.  However, it hadn't given me wings, it just added to my large pile of homeschooling "To dos".

The second motivator for change was that this week was not one of my "best mom of the year" weeks.  I lost my temper, my patience and yelled a number of times.  Each time I apologized to the kids and said I hadn't set a good example, which is good but not doing it would have been better.  I could easily blame it on hormones, I could blame it on some very stressful events the week before but I've never been much into blaming anything or anyone for what I do.  The thought kept coming back to me of what a friend had said at a bible study this summer: "the things that anger us, are the things that get in the way of our false idols".  The false idol of Control has been an issue I've knowingly battled for a long time but this time I felt it was something more.  I realized I'm not enjoying my boys as much as I want to or as much as they deserve to be lately.  I have three incredible kids and I'm not sure they always know I feel that way.

In addition, this summer we chose to have some fun, which meant homeschooling only two to three days a week, instead of five.  That choice really put us behind "The Plan" from where I wanted us to be by this time, and its been stressing me out.  I worried if I was "behind" now how would we ever make it when the new baby came.

Then yesterday was the first day of Classical Conversations for the year, spending the morning there, we came straight home to three hours of piano lessons.  The piano lessons are more than just lessons they are also playtime with our best friends.  A wonderful woman comes to my house and teaches my two oldest and also my friend's two children. When they aren't in lessons the kid's play.  After this, I should have finished the day with Karate lessons but I stopped short.  Chris was home to start his evening role of "Super Dad" and I was ready to decompress from our busy day. 

As I decompressed, I realized I needed to let go of some stuff I was holding on to.  I was guilty of trying to create public/private school at home, and that was not what I really wanted to do.  We live in a state that only requires that your child "show progress" each year and nothing more.  A fact I often remind other moms when they get stressed out about homeschooling but often forget to remind myself.  I was letting myself be weighed down by standards and opinions that were either not there or not mine.  I felt pressured to put in a five day school week, to finish each curricula and do everything in them by the end of the year.  The fact that my boys were above their grades and doing subjects seldom done in public/private schools, seemed to be irrelevant in my past thinking.

Thankfully, last night I was finally broken down enough to listen and see things for what they were and to let go of these unreasonable and unnecessary standards/pressures.  I have let go of worrying about doing all the exercises is every book and accepted the fact we will not finish some curricula this year. I hope it means we'll have more joy together doing what we do, that we'll enjoy more time cuddled up on the couch reading and talking together.  

This is how I see the "New Plan" working.  I have reserved Fridays as a new day of doing the Fine Art projects my boys so enjoy.  Also I will take Friday as a day for me to catch up on life while the boys play and enjoy each other.  We will review CC each day of the work week (only about 15 min per day).  However, we will only do the traditional subjects (Math/Language Arts) three days a week; Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.  We completed Science this summer so we'll have to see how that works into the schedule in the spring.  History will happen with a focus more on living books and discussion time as a family.  Most importantly we will live by a standard of GRACE, to each other and ourselves.  Allowing God to interrupt our day and worshiping Him and not our schedule.  My prayer is this will bring the "joy" back into our homeschooling journey, that homeschooling will stop being a check box and become an enjoyable way to learn and grow, just like I always wanted it to be.

Update on Science/Anatomy

Summer Vacation is over.  The "Plan" was to complete a Anatomy/Science Curricula by the end of summer and we finished today.  Here's what happened, new resources I found, and how I plan to finish up Science/Chemistry during the rest of the year.

ANATOMY:  As I said originally in my Science Post, "God's Design for Science - Human Body" provides a good outline/introduction, but I found it lacking in depth sometimes.  Therefore, in addition to the supplemental resources I already mentioned in my original post and a supplemental post, here are a few others I found useful and also would be useful supplements to the first 12 weeks of Anatomy in CC.

• Here are some neat videos called "How the Body Works", to use as introductions to the different systems of the body.  I particularly like the Muscle video.
• Coloring Sheets for "The Eye"  http://www.crayola.com/free-coloring-pages/print/human-eye-coloring-page/ 
• Identification Worksheet for "The Ear":  http://images.yourdictionary.com/ear
• Identification Worksheet for "The Skin"  http://www.enchantedlearning.com/subjects/anatomy/skin/label/label.shtml 
• Identification Worksheet for "Respiratory System" http://www.slimgoodbody.com/Files/Teacher_Resources/respiratorysystem.pdf   (Make a copy and white out the labels for testing.)

Here's a few pics from their final project.  They traced an outline of themselves and labeled as many parts as they could.  They really had fun doing it and I was amazed at all the details they remembered.  So I would say our summer was well spent :-)

Titus just wanted me to trace him three times (it tickled) and then add stamp art :-)

CHEMISTRY:  For CC and the second half of the year, the focus will be on Chemistry.  I have chosen two books and a curricula for this task.

For the Curricula I purchased "Classic Science - Elementary Chemistry" from the Lab of Mr. Q.

Brandy had mentioned her sons enjoyed other books in his series because of his humorous approach to science (See Post).  That piqued my interest, but what sold me on the curricula was two things.  First, was his response to my email with a few questions.  One of my concerns was to make sure the curricula was Evolution neutral.  He respectfully and thoroughly answered my reply.  The short answers is "yes".  Second, was that he really wanted me to download the first chapter of the student and parent downloads for free to make sure it was a good fit.  When I did I was really impressed.  The chapter was age appropriate for any elementary child, the supplemental activities/experiments looked like fun and the resources necessary would be easy to find around the house.  We plan on digging into this over the Winter Break in CC (i.e. November and December). I obtained my husband's buy-in to take the lead in teaching the boys in the evenings and weekends.  I'll go over the chapter and the worksheets with them during the week and let the boys do the experiments with Dad.  I'm always a little leery of the messiness factor with experiments, especially with the help of a two year old.

The other two books I plan on using are:

Exploring the World of Chemistry by Tiner. I chose this book because it reads like a living book, not a textbook and will give the boys a great overall understanding of the history and impact of chemistry.

Men of Science, Men of God by Morris.  This book provides quick biographical write-ups of famous scientists.

I'll give an update on how Chemistry went later in the year.

Health - Is Soy really healthy?

I'm going to start writing some short posts about one of my passions....researching ways to help my family achieve optimal health.  Its been a slow journey, over decades, and it's still continuing.  In each post I'll try to narrow the topic into small digestible chunks :-)

My search for the perfect protein began when my husband, whom is an athlete, also started to become a vegan.  

DISCLAIMER:  Now let me clear the air here, we are not fundamental about our eating choices, we make them 100% based on health.  Over the years Chris has found that his body just doesn't process milk well at all and it generally doesn't like meat.  The rest of us are generally vegetarians, more based on ease of making family meals and my concern when the boys were young of dealing with raw meat with a baby around (I.e. needing to pick them up before you had a chance to sanitize).  By "generally" I mean that Lance and I do eat chicken and tuna occasionally.  The only reason Jared and Titus don't is because they don't like it.  However, when we go to friends houses we (including Chris) eat whatever is served.  Remember the goal is simply "optimal health" for us, nothing more.

As I started to share my findings, a couple friends “whey”ed in on the protein controversy, pointing out some potential dangers of soy. “Soy” I did some more “hemp”y research into proteins. “Pea”cause of what I found I’ve decided to make some revisions to his “Diet”.

The short story is this: no one seems to know if Soy is the perfect protein or if it will kill you. Even the experts admit to being clueless. Concerns over soy include: its very high in allergens, the more you eat, the more likely you are to develop an allergy to it; it blocks the absorption of minerals i.e. calcium; the high levels of phytoestrogens that can be harmful to children; and as proteins go its not very efficient which can lead to pancreas issues.  However, when I found out that most soy is processed using "Hexane" I became really concerned. Hexane is a by-product of gasoline production and certainly not something you'd want to eat or even come into contact with. Most of the information I found said that it is seldom found in the soy after processing, but seldom is far from never.

Here's a few tips to keeping soy intake as safe as possible: 

• Tofu and Tempeh are considered safer than other forms of soy because they are less processed and seldom processed with Hexane.   
• The safest sources of soy are said to be "Pacifica" and "Westsoy".  
• Keep Soy protein to under 30mg a day.

I've decided to err on cautious and look for other sources of protein wherever I can.  I don't lose sleep about the little that is found in things like "Clif bars" and in trace amounts in other foods, I just avoid soy when I can.

Thankfully, finding alternatives, that are even better than soy, was simple.

This is the best article I found on protein (meat and vegetable sources): http://www.nutribodyprotein.com/protein-types.php 

Here's some of my top pics:

Milk Alternatives:  

• Almond Milk (Original Blue Diamond Brand) - I find this is best with cereal, especially nutty tasting cereal like Kashi.  We use the original because we found the Vanilla was too sweet.
• Coconut Milk (Unsweetened So Delicious Brand) - I use this for everything I mix milk with, from Mac&Cheese to smoothies.  By itself, it's a little bland (like skim milk), but it is full of Medium Chain Fatty Acids, B-12 and Magnesium.  They also make these delicious So Delicious Ice Cream Sandwiches taste just like when we are kids but have nothing bad in them (they even use Agave instead of Sugar).
• Goat's Milk - Many people who cannot tolerate Cow Milk can tolerate Goat Milk.  We use Goat's Milk Kefir, Yogurt and Raw Cheese.  I use the Redwood Farms brand - they haven't paid for the certification but its basically organic.  For the boys, the Coconut Milk version of Kefir and Yogurt didn't have enough fat and protein and for me I prefer the taste of the yogurt.

Protein Supplements/Powders:

• Pea Protein - Many of the meal shakes now come in Pea Protein version, such as Chris' morning "Alive Whole Food Multi-Vitamin Shake". Pea Protein is processed naturally with water, has a mild flavor and has a high protein efficiency ratio.
• Hemp Protein - Chris also uses this in his morning shake to pump up his protein intake and this is what I use in my breakfast shake and the boy's smoothies.  This type of protein is a great immune builder, it contains a ton of Amino Acids (something lacking in a vegetarian diet), lots of fiber, Omega-6 and its easily digestible.  I've found that all Hemp Protein powders are not equal, so this is a place where brand matters.  We use Living Harvest Hemp Protein because it's raw and seems to pack the biggest nutritional punch.  Taste wise it has a mild nutty flavor.

Other Items:

• Chicken Alternative - Quorn - this is a multi-fungus, now don't run-away!  Its also the most popular meat alternative in Europe.  Ironically, it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken.  When I serve it most people have no idea its not chicken.  It can be stir-fried, or eaten in nugget form.  Nice part is its already cooked so you just need to take it out of the freezer and warm it up.
• Burger Alternative - Garden Burgers - These are vegetable and mushroom based.  I really like the Original version and Chris prefers the Black Bean Chipotle.  I'm not a big Veggie Burger fan but these are really good (especially with Chipotle Sweet Potato Fries).
• Butter/Margarine - Earth Balance Soy Free - They use Pea protein and expeller-pressed oils.  It has a great buttery taste, melts well and bakes well.  Really no reason to use anything else.

Budgeting Made Easy and It Really Works!

After many years of spread-sheeting (I'm addicted to Excel), I've come up with a simple way to stay on budget that actually works.  I've tested it now for over a year and not only are we finally staying on budget, we've saved more than planned.

The problem I've found with most systems I've tried or read about is, they are either not proactive enough or too complicated.

The good news is that you don't have to spend any time tracking your expenses before starting, the system will make them obvious in a few weeks.  You only have to know your "Discretionary Expense Budget" as illustrated in the example below (I chose the numbers only because they divided easily for example purposes):

Here's how my budget system works:

Step One: Calculate your Monthly Net Income (i.e. your take home pay after all deductions/taxes are removed).

Step Two:  List out your Non-Discretionary Expenses.  These are items that will leave you homeless or in serious trouble if these bills are not paid.  This is NOT everything you THINK you want, only the payments you really NEED to make monthly. (See Example below)

Step Three:  Take your "Monthly Net Income" number and subtract the total of your "Non-Discretionary Expenses".  This new number is your "Monthly Discretionary Budget".

Step Four:  Take your "Monthly Discretionary Budget" and divide it by four, this is your "Weekly Discretionary Budget".

Now the trick is how you track your weekly expenses...

Step Five:  Use an old fashion calendar somewhere where you and your spouse have easy access to it (ours is on the pantry door).  Then each time you spend any money you write it in the Sunday box or off to the side and keep a running subtotal.  Once you reach $300 (in this example), you're done spending money for the week.  If you go over, that becomes a deficit for the following week.  One thing to remember to avoid deficits is to put down money you know your going to spend that week down at the beginning of the week before you spend it.  To simplify you could budget some regular monthly expenses as "Non-discretionary" for calculating your weekly discretionary amount.  However, remember if you start falling short regularly or get into a financial bind, it means you need to reevaluate those expenses.

You'll be amazed at how having the numbers right there for everyone to see and in real time each week really helps you stay on a budget.  Like anything new it will take a little getting used to and you'll need to give yourselves a little grace. As you stick to it you'll find it gets easier and easier.  For instance, you'll discipline yourself to wait a week to spend money and not recent it :-)  Believe it or not, there is great freedom in living on a budget.

One Warning!  EVERYONE must be on board for this to work, i.e. husband, wife and kids if they get allowances.  The system is easy and effective but only to the point it is fully implemented.

Note:  Assuming you get paid bi-weekly (every two weeks).  Calculate your income based on only two paychecks a month.  Then if you stay on budget you will have saved your extra two paychecks a year.

Hope you find this tool as helpful as we have!

Budgeting Tool Illustration:

Net Income (NI) $4,000 Monthly Take home Pay Non-Discretionary (ND) Expenses you have to pay or there is a negative consequence. Tithe $400 Mortgage $1,000 Property Taxes $400 If this is in escrow, include with Mortgage. HOA/ROA Fees $500 Life Insurance $150 Property Insurance $50 Gas/Water/Elec $300 Budget this based on your highest bills in the last year.  This will give you some cushion on the low months and cover you on the high. Subtotal $2,800 Subtract NI from ND Subtotal $1,200 Divide by 4 and each week you can only spend $300 Discretionary Items: Some of these may not seem like optional expenses but with the exception of groceries they really are, it just may not be fun.   Groceries I put groceries in this category because the majority of what we buy is discretionary.  Items can be substituted for less expensive/unprocessed items or offset by coupons. Eating Out You don't NEED to do this, its just a want. Home & Cell Phone You could choose to only have one or if needed or cut back on plan hours & extras (i.e texting and internet). Internet Charges Though it is convenient, you could live without it and use public computers at the library or use public wi-fi if you have a laptop. Cable TV You don't NEED this for anything, its just a want. Free TV & Movies are available online & library or you could go back to reading books :-) Gas/Tolls If needed consolidate your trips, carpool, bike, or use public transport. Car Payments Most people could downsize in quantity or quality, to eliminate this payment. Club Memberships/ Sports/Classes In most cases, you don't NEED to do this, its just a want, i.e. Gym memberships Misc. Clothes Misc. Home Care Misc. Auto Care, etc.