We have been trying to pump Jared with as much calories a possible today and since he can't eat after midnight we were trying to have fun letting everyone stay up late, to maximize his calorie consumption.
Unfortunately, it all became too much a little bit ago, he gagged and he threw everything up. Bummer. Bother. Ugh. Foul Filth.....choose your irritated saying.
Tomorrow is D-Day and I'm not ready. We have kept on the good game face but its a day I never wanted to come. I kept hoping/praying the last seven years for divine intervention. I realize that having the opportunity for Jared to have this procedure IS divine intervention but I was hoping for the sudden miraculous kind Jesus did in the bible. Don't get me wrong, there is no way to express how thankful I am we are here, I just can't explain how terrified I am right now either.
I understand that God is in control and I should not worry cognitively but my emotions aren't listening.
We had a picnic at the Public Gardens today but I just can't get past my feeling of dread about tomorrow to share about that nice adventure right now.
Hardest part is it's not a matter of just making it through tomorrow, we'll be on high alert for at least a week. At the rate my hair is falling out from the stress I might be bald at the end of the week but I hear wigs are easier anyway.
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